Heart is where the home is..

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. "

"Mini, how can you be so careless.. fir se toot-ta kuch aur", shrieked my mother from less than 3 feet away. Outwardly, I put up a scowl. Why would one big break of the previous day mean I would continue breaking all of the other stuff which my mom loves? I am not that much of butter fingers!

Inside, I was doing a jig, 'cos the scene was so reminiscent of the times when I was in school (and hence staying with my parents), and kept dropping/breaking stuff. The scolding brought back a nostalgia so strong that I wanted to freeze the moment forever, be it my mom's angry look or my petulant scowl at being rebuked. (I did not break anything more after that, but there was an incident of me pulling out the microwave plug so enthusiastically that the projectile motion of the 3-pin could break many things in sight..)

Home is a simple four letter word which combines in itself a meaning so deep, and a comfort so protective and engaging, that you don't imagine just a brick and mortar set up. You associate with it memories, and companionship, and growing up, and fights. It is a place where no matter how big the problem, it will get solved. A place bustling and full of people you love and care about is a treasure so big which nothing else can replace! Having to come back to a home, and not just a house, can just make all the stress of the day wither away, and give renewed enthusiasm. I imagine being able to just walk across the hall and talk to my mom about anything under the sun, or getting my dad all the things which he asks in infinite requests, or planning latest  foodie outings with my sis, and I think, now that would be bliss! 8 years of being away, and on my own, make me want more of these simplest pleasures..

I had an instance of similar home like deja vu after the diwali vacation. Back in engineering days, hostel used to be a home away from home. The homesickness used to vanish as soon as I used to meet my special ones in hostel, in adjacent rooms. With time's passage we are all in different parts of world, and the communication is limited. But a recent 2 day stay with a friend brought back all those memories like a song.. laughing like we used to, at jokes which were as juvenile and innocent, as they were when we were a couple of 18 year olds. Life has changed for all of us, but the rejuvenation that we had through old pictures and videos, infused some old world happiness back into me. 

Today, I feel lucky that I have had these amazing moments, which give me so much happiness, and a longing, at the same time. It helps me when I'm having my escapist moments. I can go into a cocoon and be a child again, with the envelope of memories around me..

"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."

Jet City Woman!

I can crib about anything and everything these days! Opinionated, if i may choose to pamper my ego. Starting from an eagle's eye view till the very basics, I hate it all. The traffic is too much, the days are too long, the weekends are too short, the societal pressures are never ending, the diets never work, the money is never enough, the problems never abate, the weather is always humid, the auto wallas NEVER agree to take me, hair never stays in place, while walking back the cars spray the water only on me, and the tame dog in front of my office never takes a roti, only from me. 

I am pretty sure the Gods are against me! I am very serious. I sometimes give the idol at my home, a withering eye as I leave for office. Why oh why, should the 20s turn out to be just work? I miss being carefree, I miss being not responsible for the monthly utility bills, or the insurance, or the savings, or the plannings.

So I am going in the local train, berating myself, berating the world, berating the train, just waiting for the ride to get over so that I can get on a stupid auto, to my stupid home (yeah that particular one was a furious train of thought!), when I happened to notice an old lady sitting in front of me, and she was smiling away (at me? I dunno)

It was a long train ride, so I couldn't even put on a surly look and pass the time looking just like that, and hence I smiled back. Tiny bit. She immediately gave a warm look, as if  my little teenage-rebellion-attempt was good enough for her! I am a bit skeptical now...

Then she starts speaking. And she speaks. She speaks how she is 82 years of age, and how she lost her husband recently, to a kidney disease. 'He's better off without the pain', she says with a confident smile. She loves to trade in markets, is hooked on to CNBC even though she hasn't studied beyond class 8. She speaks about her garden, where she tends to bonsai plants, her flowers, and her kitchen garden. She talks fondly about her granddaughters, who are excellent painters, in her opinion. She herself is fond of painting - oil painting especially..

By now, I am listening intently. She asks me my hobbies, I mention few, but then i wonder about the last time i made an attempt to do all that.. things supposedly I love. My old lady here isn't over yet about her life.. she is fond of cooking, making her own chutneys and dhoklas at home, and her own special masala tea. She invites me over to her place whenever I am in the area next - to look at her paintings and teach her a little on using a laptop. Why a laptop, I ask? Then she proceeds to tell about her broker, who used to invest on her behalf, but ever since he left, she's been wanting to learn how to operate using a laptop, on her own.

I am hooked by now - on this frail, arthritis stricken but an amazingly strong and positive personality sitting in front of me.. I am sure, with her sheer optimism, she will learn behind a legacy which is worthy of praise.

When I walk back home, (yes water still being spilled, autos still not willing, life still pretty much the same), I think about this seemingly ordinary but highly inspiring conversation with the silvery haired lady in the train..She makes life big. She is exploring all the options and all her strengths to make the best use of the time that she has, age notwithstanding. In front of her, I am in no position to complain...

A chance meeting with a stranger, gives a week's worth of relaxation indeed!